Parenting with a mental illness is hard - and had to sell our puppy :(

Parenting is hard, period. Anyone who has children can attest to this fact. But parenting when you have a mental illness is infinitely harder. I find that when I am going through emotional turmoil it becomes hard for me to focus on others, because I am so consumed with what is happening to me. I find that I am not as attentive as I should be, and I feel terrible about this. I do the best I can though, but sometimes it is hard to cope. I have found the past couple of weeks I have really been off in my own world. Luckily my husband has had a lot of time off and has been able to shoulder most of the responsibility when I can't handle taking care of the kids. Also my dad is a big help. He lives right around the corner from us and I know he is willing to take the girls at any time if I need help. I do love my kids more than anything - I want them to have a good life, a happy life. I want them to know that they are loved. I do not want them to grow up to hate me or feel that I was never there for them. That is my biggest concern, with this illness, is that it will impact them in a negative way, and I don't want that at all.

On another note, we unfortunately had to sell our puppy Talon. She was almost 9 months old and we raised her since she was a tiny pup. My husband and I were very sad to see her go but we knew it was for the best. My kids really did not care for her. She was very large, and would jump on them and playfully nip them, which scared them. There was constant chaos in the house trying to referee between the kids and the dog and it did not help my mental state at all. She also had problems with chewing (she recently chewed up the living room rugs, our TV remote and her own bed). She minded my husband well but would not listen to me, and since I am here alone without my husband most of the time it was just hard to deal with. She was a very loving dog though, always following me and wanting to sit with me and be petted. I admit I did cry after she left, I became attached to her despite all the problems. I will miss her big head in my lap and her saggy face. Goodbye Talon.