It's time for a change: Bipolar State of Being is now Lit

Hey guys, so I've been needing to change the title of this blog for a couple of months but waffled on what to change it to. I knew I didn't want it solely devoted to bipolar anymore. I used to use it mainly in a journal type fashion, documenting my life and the day to day happenings, moods, what not. I realized that I had so much more to say, and have moved in a direction away from that type of blogging. Now I'm focusing more on well thought out essays rather than quick updates and snippits. I guess you could say, I'm getting SERIOUS about it now! :)

I'm now going to be focusing a lot more on the psychological, sociological, spiritual and societal aspects in life. I plan to spend a lot of time discussing mental health issues, God, my personal experiences and the way all of this stuff collides together. I think so often we get caught up in one aspect of life to the exclusion of everything else. In reality, we aren't compartmentalized like that. It's not like I have all these "slices" that correspond to Nicole:Mom, Nicole:Bipolar, Nicole:Borderline, Nicole:Christian, Nicole:Writer, etc. Those are all parts of me, but I am a whole person, and so is everyone out there reading this blog. I think in order to truly understand ourselves we have to see ourselves in a WHOLE sense...not just pieces here and there. Everything is related to everything else, and it's really interesting for me to explore it all. In fact, if you've noticed I am blogging much more now because that is just how my mind works. It is always going, even when I'm not "having an episode". In fact I am in a completely neutral mood state now. I just always have a lot going on in my mind. I figured I might as well share my insight with others rather than let it ruminate around in my head where it does no good (except to me, hehehe.)

So that's the direction I'm going. I spend so much time journaling, researching, reading and having interesting dialogues with people about these "big" things that I think it's worthwhile to share.

And as for the name change, I simply reverted back to the blog title I originally chose when I signed up with blogger back in 2010. I had chosen Lit, as in, lit up; a fire (that refers mainly to my mental state of course, and not lit, as in literature, although I guess that could be an interesting play on words since this is a blog. Ha.)

I know it's kind of a flip from what my previous followers are used to so I hope you'll all stick around to hear more than just my sad complaints :)

AND!!! Since I changed formats, I can now get comments! (I never could in my old format because some kind of error was going on.) So yeah, comment away if you feel so inclined.

War Zone

My world has crumbled down around me

I watched it as it fell, helpless to keep it whole

I could not stop the inevitable progression

First one brick, then another

Til it all tumbled down

And spiraled out of control

And the pain I feel is like a massive missile

Has been projected directly into my heart

Piercing it, exploding with such magnitude

That there are a hundred pieces of me blown apart

Coagulated bits of blood and flesh here and there

A clump of tangled hair

A stump of a limb, with raw nerves exposed

And my mind, just alive enough to see the wreckage and know the end is imminent

Just waiting for that moment to come

Feeling like a thousand eternities

Awaiting the second it will all be snuffed out

And the pain will end

Because there is no one around

To make this swift

No one to show mercy

No one

But me

9/8/2013