Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

My Christian Playlist



Since I wrote about bad messages in music, I wanted to post about some positive messages in music as well! I’ve been listening to Christian music for years, even when I wasn’t involved in anything God related, just because I found it to be happy and uplifting. Now it is what I listen to most of the time because I try to avoid the bad messages in other forms of popular music.

When I was young I used to think ewwwww, Christian music! And it conjured up images of people crying at concerts and things like that, which I found ridiculous but I now get it completely. I’ve cried at some of these songs myself because they are so moving, or they speak to me at just the right moment when I need it. They encourage positive values, loving yourself, loving others, being caring, helpful, generous. Loving God, respecting him, worshiping. Some of it is slow and some of it is music that makes you get up and dance! Whenever I listen to this music it truly does cheer me up. I can’t tell you how many times I was having a terrible day or experience and I turned on the Christian station and heard just the right thing at the right time to lift me up and help me keep going.

So here in my current playlist I’ve been playing quite a bit! Go listen to them now!

*Ready or Not by Britt Nicole

I'm not ever selling out
A love out loud is what it's all about
Giving everything to see the lost get found
Yeah, it's going down

You, you, you want me to take my light, light
Fit it in your box, right?
I want you to look me in the eye

Ready or not
Here, here, here, here I come
I'm about to show you where the light comes from

*Write Your Story by Francesca Battistelli

They say
You can give the blind their sight
And You can bring the dead to life
You can be the hope my soul's been seekin'

I wanna tell You now that I believe it
I wanna tell You now that I believe it
I do, that You can make me new, oh

I'm an empty page
I'm an open book
Write Your story on my heart
Come on and make Your mark

Author of my hope
Maker of the stars
Let me be Your work of art
Won't You write Your story on my heart

*Speak Life by TobyMac

Though it's crazy, amazing
We can turn a heart with the words we say
Mountains crumble with every syllable
Hope can live or die

So speak Life, speak Life
To the deadest darkest night
Speak life, speak Life
When the sun won't shine and you don't know why
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope
You speak love, you speak...
You speak Life, You speak Life

*Your Love by Brandon Heath

*Shine Your Way by Owl City

*Starry Night by Chris August

*Architecture by Jonathan Thulin

*More of You by Colton Dixon

*Ready, Set, Go by Royal Tailor

*Jesus in Disguise by Brandon Heath

*Born Again by Newsboys

*You Invite Me In by Meredith Andrews (first Christian song that ever stuck in my heart years ago!)

*Drifting by Plumb

*What I’ve Overcome by Fireflight

*Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole

Awesome, uplifting songs that really understand our physical human needs and spiritual needs as well. Hope that you enjoy them like I do.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Is faith in God important? Can we believe in God?



I’ve been doing a heck of a lot of writing lately, both blog-wise and journaling. The stuff I have posted here is just a fraction of what I have actually written and truthfully, there are about 20 more blogs I have notes on with intention to write that I have not gotten to yet. It seems once I start to explore one thing, another pops up. And since I’m trying to limit my posts to one topic at a time, I end up with a lot of stuff!!!

Two things I know I want to focus on in this blog going forward are discussing mental issues (I really don’t like the term mental illness, but I use it because that is what mental issues, disorders, problems etc. are mainly referred to as now) and God/spirituality. Whenever I start talking about anything psychology, or societally related, it always circles back to God without me even trying. I think because in the end, there is no man made fix. I’m always reaching back back back, looking to the root cause of things and ways it can be fixed. But it really can’t be by any man made means, or it would have been done by now.

So this post is going to focus on faith, and how faith in God is important.

Someone I know is taking a religion class on the New Testament for their degree (required by the school, not the person’s degree program.) This person has never really been a believer in God or Christianity, in fact they don’t know anything about the Bible. So now they have been reading the New Testament for the first time, asking me lots of Bible related questions and so we’ve had some interesting discussions. Last night the topic arose of “How can I believe in God when there is no proof?” And my answer was something I only recently came to understand fully – that a person must have faith in God, in order to see that proof.

What is faith, really? You hear Christians talk about faith all the time, faith in God, faith in Jesus. Faith, faith, faith. The New Testament is absolutely filled with scriptures talking about the importance of having faith. But most people never stop to think about what that really means.

If you were to say you had faith in your friend that they would be able to lose weight, or ace an upcoming job interview, what would you mean by that? You’d mean that you believed in them, that you had complete confidence in what they could do or achieve, even if you had no definitive way of knowing that they WOULD lose weight or get the job. To have faith in God MEANS to believe in him, whether we can see him or not, whether we have any proof or not.

So now I have to address the idea of what constitutes proof. I think it is so hard for scientifically minded or academically minded people to believe in God because they want “proof”. Generally this means some sort of physical, tangible thing. So if it cannot be tasted/touched/seen/smelled/felt then it is concluded that it must not exist. As an academically minded person myself, I find this thinking to be very strange. There are countless things that cannot be measured with physical means and yet we know to exist. When we feel we love someone, can that be measured with scientific or medical means? Is love truly in our “hearts” as the saying goes? We know it exists solely within our minds. The same is true for any ideas we have at all. They exist within our minds, in a place that cannot be measured. Yet nothing of man-made origin would exist without them. Can a doctor cut into our anatomic brain, remove a slice and examine it under a microscope and say, “Ahhhh yes. There is Nicole’s idea about faith. I can see it now.” No. The only way we even know ideas exist are because we see the OUTWARD manifestation of those ideas, which are created with our physical bodies and discerned by our senses, NOT because we see the ideas themselves. Ideas are esoteric, but we know they exist.

By the same token, if we have faith and believe God exists, we can see his hand in what we know, his supremely intelligent design. Years back, I took Human Anatomy & Physiology, not an easy class. I had to study an 1100 page medical book from cover to cover, dissection labs, the works. It was a very in-depth, holistic view, down the complex chemical processes that occur each second in order to sustain life. When you begin to see how everything is connected, you cannot help but be filled with awe. Nothing is superfluous. Everything has a purpose, a function. It all works together. The absolute magnitude of processes that occur simultaneously is truly mind boggling. When the slightest thing becomes out of alignment, it can cause sickness and death almost immediately. I honestly cannot believe that anyone who has ever studied medicine could deny God. We take our bodies and minds for granted every day. But if you stop to think about the process of anything in nature – the formation of planets, the growth of a plant, human life – the answer to me is beyond clear. The Bible even addresses this to skeptics of God:

“The heavens are declaring the glory of God; The skies above proclaim the work of his hands.  Day after day their speech bubbles forth,
And night after night they reveal knowledge.”
(Psalms 19:1, 2)

“For his invisible qualities are clearly seen from the world’s creation onward, because they are perceived by the things made, even his eternal power and Godship, so that they are inexcusable.” (Romans 1:20)

A person doesn’t need higher education to be able to look at a sunset and be in amazement, or to wonder about the magnitude of the universe or marvel at the birth of a child. These are things each one of us is capable of seeing and knowing and believing. The idea that only certain people who are geniuses can understand things, is simply not true. God allows himself to been seen, if a person truly wants to “see” him.

It is interesting to note, that even in Jesus’ time when he WAS giving them physical proof, in the form of miracles such as curing the blind or raising the dead, many STILL did not believe, and they still had no faith at all. So, seeing is not always believing, as the saying goes.

Mankind seems, as a whole these days, obsessed with the idea that their knowledge and wisdom is superior. The apostle Paul had some great words in his letter to the Corinthians about man’s idea of wisdom and God’s idea of wisdom, and reminds us not to be led down a false path.
“And I came to you in weakness and in fear and with much trembling;  and my speech and what I preached were not with persuasive words of wisdom but with a demonstration of spirit and power,  so that your faith might be, not in men’s wisdom, but in God’s power.” (1st Cor. 2:4, 5)

“Now we received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit that is from God, so that we might know the things that have been kindly given us by God. These things we also speak, not with words taught by human wisdom, but with those taught by the spirit, as we explain spiritual matters with spiritual words. But a physical man does not accept the things of the spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot get to know them, because they are examined spiritually.” (1st Corinthians 2:12-14)

Now, don’t get me wrong. Knowledge, and wisdom are important. We should always strive to gain knowledge and wisdom. However, we should never be so arrogant as to assume that WE are the most intelligent things in the universe. We need to remain humble and be willing to acknowledge that we do not have all the answers, we do not have all the knowledge and the wisdom. If we try to elevate ourselves to a level that clearly does not belong to us, it simply shows pride and arrogance in our own smarts and abilities.

“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God, for it is written: “He catches the wise in their own cunning.” And again: “Jehovah knows that the reasonings of the wise men are futile.” (1st Cor. 3:19, 20)


“At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.” (Matthew 11:25, New International Version)

So, getting back to the idea of faith. I myself have always had an inclination toward the sciences, with an unending curiosity and quest to find answers. I would consider myself to be a very intelligent person and enjoy research and study and learning the intricate processes by which things occur. But I realize not everyone is so inclined. I believe that the proof that God exists is clear to any who are genuinely seeking it, and seeking him in their lives – no matter what that person’s knowledge level may be. The realm of science and medicine and academia (in general) wants people to believe that they are the ones who have all the answers, and that if you believe in God, you are both uneducated and a fool. Yet, scientists constantly revise their own thoughts and theories about how things work, year by year, and it is always changing. Scientists and doctors and professors – the so-called “intellectual” or “wise” ones, according to our society, have not been able to cure the world of disease, get people to live peaceably with each other, or thwart every human’s ultimate foe – death, no matter how hard they try. It’s just a repetitive cycle as one generation dies and another rises up and takes its place. Paul reminds us about having faith in God, and warns us about being overly trusting of man's abilities.

“Therefore, just as you have accepted Christ Jesus the Lord, go on walking in union with him, being rooted and built up in him and being stabilized in the faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing with thanksgiving. Look out that no one takes you captive by means of the philosophy and empty deception according to human tradition, according to the elementary things of the world and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:6-8)

“It is better to take refuge in Jehovah
Than to trust in humans.”
(Psalms 118:8)

God is timeless and unending and has created all that see and know. He was there at the beginning of it and will be there always. If you have faith, you can be assured that what he promises will undoubtedly come to pass.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? Jehovah, the Creator of the ends of the earth, is a God for all eternity. He never tires out or grows weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the tired one
And full might to those lacking strength.  Boys will tire out and grow weary,
And young men will stumble and fall,  But those hoping in Jehovah will regain power. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary;
They will walk and not tire out.”
(Isaiah 40:28-31)

“And the One seated on the throne said: “Look! I am making all things new.” Also he says: “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”  And he said to me: “They have come to pass! I am the Al′pha and the O·me′ga, the beginning and the end. To anyone thirsting I will give from the spring of the water of life free.” (Revelation 21:5, 6)

“For all the things that were written beforehand were written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

Interestingly, I saw an omega sign in the sky the other day and thought of God. For those unfamiliar, here are Alpha and Omega (first and last letter of the Greek alphabet, hence the scriptural reference to first and last.)



Here are the photos I took from my backyard. First when I noticed it and second as it started drifting away. Yes, probably made by a plane but interesting how they made the Omega sign. And yes, it reminded me to have faith.





It's time for a change: Bipolar State of Being is now Lit

Hey guys, so I've been needing to change the title of this blog for a couple of months but waffled on what to change it to. I knew I didn't want it solely devoted to bipolar anymore. I used to use it mainly in a journal type fashion, documenting my life and the day to day happenings, moods, what not. I realized that I had so much more to say, and have moved in a direction away from that type of blogging. Now I'm focusing more on well thought out essays rather than quick updates and snippits. I guess you could say, I'm getting SERIOUS about it now! :)

I'm now going to be focusing a lot more on the psychological, sociological, spiritual and societal aspects in life. I plan to spend a lot of time discussing mental health issues, God, my personal experiences and the way all of this stuff collides together. I think so often we get caught up in one aspect of life to the exclusion of everything else. In reality, we aren't compartmentalized like that. It's not like I have all these "slices" that correspond to Nicole:Mom, Nicole:Bipolar, Nicole:Borderline, Nicole:Christian, Nicole:Writer, etc. Those are all parts of me, but I am a whole person, and so is everyone out there reading this blog. I think in order to truly understand ourselves we have to see ourselves in a WHOLE sense...not just pieces here and there. Everything is related to everything else, and it's really interesting for me to explore it all. In fact, if you've noticed I am blogging much more now because that is just how my mind works. It is always going, even when I'm not "having an episode". In fact I am in a completely neutral mood state now. I just always have a lot going on in my mind. I figured I might as well share my insight with others rather than let it ruminate around in my head where it does no good (except to me, hehehe.)

So that's the direction I'm going. I spend so much time journaling, researching, reading and having interesting dialogues with people about these "big" things that I think it's worthwhile to share.

And as for the name change, I simply reverted back to the blog title I originally chose when I signed up with blogger back in 2010. I had chosen Lit, as in, lit up; a fire (that refers mainly to my mental state of course, and not lit, as in literature, although I guess that could be an interesting play on words since this is a blog. Ha.)

I know it's kind of a flip from what my previous followers are used to so I hope you'll all stick around to hear more than just my sad complaints :)

AND!!! Since I changed formats, I can now get comments! (I never could in my old format because some kind of error was going on.) So yeah, comment away if you feel so inclined.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The decline of societal cohesion and the hope that God promises

I am really getting sick of living in this world. I don't mean that in a "I'm depressed" kind of way though. I mean it in a "the world has become so bad I can't stand living in it" way. Thank the Lord that I found my way back to God in the last year because without him I would be completely lost. The rapid decline in the morality and attitudes of people globally is astounding to me. The internet has become a facilitator of this decline, being an intangible, essentially uncontrollable entity. Even the fact that I am able to write this blog post speaks to that fact. No one is regulating me. I can say whatever I want here. I could lie, I could mislead people (to be fair I must say that I have no intention of misleading anyone but rather to help them find the hope in this dark world.) I could post copyrighted material and claim it as my own. I could pretend I'm somebody else. I could post illegal material. I could post harmful material. I could pretty much do whatever I want and have a readily available audience to do so.

Now, there are people out there who use this ability for good rather than bad (I like to believe I am one of them). But the sheer increase in selfishness makes a person question everyone and their motives. The trust is eroding. We are moving away from a physical world into a "digital world". We are voyeurs, we are consumers. Personal relationships are going by the wayside, favored by "digital" communication. The internet has become our world. We say what we want, do what we want. And if anyone tries to stop us from doing what we want, we feel justified in hurting, maligning, or punishing them in some fashion. Everyone must accept everyone and everything they do, because if we don't, we are bigots or uneducated or small minded or fascist. We sympathize with the perpetrators of crimes rather than victims. We glorify violence, we pay to see people stabbed and shot and mutilated, abused and raped and tortured. Our fellow human beings have become mere objects - objects of hatred or objects of pleasure, objects of manipulation and objects to discard. Objects, Things, Commodities. We sacrifice our relationships, our families, for sex with a stranger, for the promise of fame, for a few dollars. We sell others out, we sell ourselves out. We "make a deal with the devil". Just a little more...a little more...a little more. No one will notice, it is gradual.

Days become weeks become months become years. The world of 50 years ago is non-existent. The world of my childhood, a mere 20 years ago, is unrecognizable to me. The teenagers of this world have no idea of a life outside these digital walls.. it has become normal, habitual, ingrained. The concept of love is gone. It has been replaced with a hollow front. Behind it lie ugly things. The ugliness was once held behind the doors. Now it is creeping out, seeping underneath, permeating the structure, little by little, little by little, until we have become so accustomed to the heinous things that happen that we take no notice at all. It is in our faces, daily. The bad has become the good. And do not dare to speak the words I do, for fall in line and join in or you will be annihilated. Do not speak truth, do not speak love, do not speak justice to a world that is blind, deaf and dumb. You will be trampled underfoot like a piece of refuse. You will be shamed into silence for not condoning the wickedness. Yet I take that risk. I am willing to be trampled for the sake of goodness. I am willing to be the lone dissenter if I have to. I am willing to stand up and say, NO MORE. No more selfishness, no more greed, no more arrogance, no more exploitation. No more of the attitudes that saturate this world, 2014. I am willing to take the bullet and endure the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune".



Whenever I look at the world, and I feel this horrible crushing weight, when the badness of mankind is so glaring I cannot escape from it (which is often) I think of God. I pray, I turn to him, I read his word. I turn away from the bad, I seek the good. There is nothing lasting at all in this world that man has formed.

"The world and its desires are fading away, but the person who does God's will remains forever." I John 2:19 (International Standard Version)


The world wants you to believe it, the world wants to sell you the lie. They tell you to trust in them. They want you to stop believing in God, to give up. They want you to give up.

Corruption is rampant in this world, everywhere we turn. It is getting harder to find light as the world turns black. I understand this must all come to pass as it is written in his word.

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. 9 But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men." 2 Timothy 3:1-9 (English Standard Version)

Several people I know have noted the level of corruption and atrocities occurring on a world wide scale now. They, like me, have noted they must pray daily to keep strength against the terrible messages in this world.

“For this reason take up the complete suit of armor from God, so that you may be able to resist in the wicked day and, after you have accomplished everything, to stand firm. Stand firm, therefore, with the belt of truth fastened around your waist, wearing the breastplate of righteousness  and having your feet shod in readiness to declare the good news of peace. Besides all of this, take up the large shield of faith, with which you will be able to extinguish all the wicked one’s burning arrows. Also, accept the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, that is, God’s word,  while with every form of prayer and supplication you carry on prayer on every occasion in spirit.” Ephesians 6:13-18 (NWT)

The internet spreads its vines out everywhere, touches everyone. Anyone trying to put out a voice of hope and encouragement above the din of hedonistic chaos is drowned out. But here I am anyway, doing the best I can to implore the people in this world to turn around. STOP. Assess. CARE. Don't do the wrong thing because "everyone else is doing it." Care about your mind, about your soul. Safeguard it, because it is precious. Don't throw away your soul, don't sell out your fellow human brothers for a few dollars, for a few minutes of pleasure.

"Tell them, ‘“As surely as I am alive,” declares the Sovereign Lord Jehovah, “I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that someone wicked changes his way and keeps living." Ezekiel 33:11 (New World Translation)

I will hold onto God's hope, to the hope given by the selfless sacrifice of his son, Jesus Christ. The only hope that carries a certain promise of happiness and everlasting life, free from the turmoil of this wicked world.


"In the final part of the days, The mountain of the house of Jehovah Will become firmly established above the top of the mountains, And it will be raised up above the hills, And to it peoples will stream.  And many nations will go and say: “Come, let us go up to the mountain of Jehovah And to the house of the God of Jacob. He will instruct us about his ways, And we will walk in his paths.” For law will go out of Zion, And the word of Jehovah out of Jerusalem.    He will render judgment among many peoples And set matters straight respecting mighty nations far away. They will beat their swords into plowshares And their spears into pruning shears. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, Nor will they learn war anymore. They will sit, each one under his vine and under his fig tree, And no one will make them afraid, For the mouth of Jehovah of armies has spoken." Micah 4:1-4 (New World Translation)

" And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”" Revelation 21:3,4 (English Standard Version)



Thursday, August 14, 2014

I finally found HOPE



Hello everyone!!! Wow, it’s been a long time. I’ve been on quite a journey this year (well, the past 4 years really :P ) I realize now what a huge DOWNER I have been. Mainly it was because I was struggling all the time…struggling with my mental state, struggling with my personal relationships, struggling with LIFE. And you know, it wasn’t fun.

I’ll spare you all the long winded details of 2014 but suffice it to say I had about 100 epiphanies about life, about my beliefs, and about myself as a person. My whole world got flipped on its head because I realized the way I saw things was all wrong. ALLLLLLLL WRONG. And with the realization that it was wrong, I started trying to make it right.

Granted, I’m only a lowly human. I don’t have all the knowledge in the world or all the wisdom. But I like to think that I’m an intelligent enough person to put the pieces together eventually. It took me about, oh 32 years but here I am now! Better late than never?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am by no means saying that all my problems are gone. HA! I wish. My life is just as stressful as ever. It’s terribly stressful. Some days I just want to give up. But I don’t. I go to sleep, I pray for strength. I get up the next day and do my best. Some weeks are incredibly difficult. And some are easier. But the bottom line is, that is life. For most of it, I lacked confidence, was depressed, sad, feeling like a broken little doll, useless, a victim of the world. I no longer believe that anymore or feel that way. I feel like a caterpillar who is metamorphosing into a butterfly.

There are some in the mental health community who don’t seem to believe that lasting change can be had. That’s a whoooooooole other post unto itself. But for now, in the interest of brevity, I’m keeping this short just to say, I found hope. There are many things that contributed to that, and I will explore them all in more detail soon. As a preview, what are a few of those things? GOD. Personal understanding. LOVE. Love for others, and love for myself. It’s a heck of a lot to dig into but I’m going to do it. Because frankly, after all those years, I’m tired of wallowing. And I’m ready to put a positive footprint out into the world.

Take care everyone!!! And talk to you all soon. :)