Dealing with anxiety issues

Wow, it's been quite awhile since I've posted...about a month and a half. I must say I update my video blogs more often than my written blog, I think I have a lot of the same viewers of both though so people can still say somewhat current on what's going on with me.

The Zyprexa is still working out well for me. I haven't had any episodes since I have been on it, and I think its around 3 months or so now. I have gained a bit of weight...probably about 15 lbs. I'm not sure whether that is because it causes an increase in appetite or because it changes the way fats are metabolized. I think it's mainly the latter, but I'm not 100% sure.

Anyhow my current bag of worms is dealing with some anxiety issues. I can't remember if I blogged about it before but basically, I've always had somewhat of a problem with anxiety. When I was a teenager and went to a counselor for the first time I was told I had generalized anxiety disorder, which basically is chronic, excessive anxiety that is disproportionate to the situation. Now it's not something I've dealt with all the time but it is there more often than not, especially lately. I'm not really sure why it is coming out so much as of late but that's the case. I find myself having anxiety attacks over every little thing, big or small (granted, there have been a lot of big things going on in my life, so some anxiety is warranted, but not all of it.)

I'm just starting to explore these anxiety issues with my counselor and psychiatrist. My counselor informed me of some methods, like talking aloud to yourself about what is going on around you to help keep you in the moment and prevent you from worrying about the past or future. Most of the methods of dealing with anxiety focus on staying in the present and not straying to worry about things in the past or future, or things that are out of your control. It has helped, a little, but I wouldn't say the problem is gone. And that really sucks. Chronic anxiety can really be crippling, in some ways even moreso than the ups and downs of bipolar. Combine the two and you're dealing with a really tough pickle.

My psychiatrist suggested taking an anti-depressant to help deal with the anxiety but I passed on that for now. I've taken them before, as a teen and they made me feel like a zombie. Plus, I know it is controversial to give people with bipolar anti-depressants at all, because they can possible cause you to spiral into a manic episode and trigger problems, which my psychiatrist admitted. So yeah, I'm avoiding that road for now.

That's about all for now. In other news, we are in the middle of buying a home, so it's an exciting but very SLOW process. Maybe the next time I post I'll finally be a homeowner! I'll try to be better about updating this blog more often in the upcoming weeks.