I finally found HOPE

Hello everyone!!! Wow, it’s been a long time. I’ve been on quite a journey this year (well, the past 4 years really :P ) I realize now what a huge DOWNER I have been. Mainly it was because I was struggling all the time…struggling with my mental state, struggling with my personal relationships, struggling with LIFE. And you know, it wasn’t fun.

I’ll spare you all the long winded details of 2014 but suffice it to say I had about 100 epiphanies about life, about my beliefs, and about myself as a person. My whole world got flipped on its head because I realized the way I saw things was all wrong. ALLLLLLLL WRONG. And with the realization that it was wrong, I started trying to make it right.

Granted, I’m only a lowly human. I don’t have all the knowledge in the world or all the wisdom. But I like to think that I’m an intelligent enough person to put the pieces together eventually. It took me about, oh 32 years but here I am now! Better late than never?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am by no means saying that all my problems are gone. HA! I wish. My life is just as stressful as ever. It’s terribly stressful. Some days I just want to give up. But I don’t. I go to sleep, I pray for strength. I get up the next day and do my best. Some weeks are incredibly difficult. And some are easier. But the bottom line is, that is life. For most of it, I lacked confidence, was depressed, sad, feeling like a broken little doll, useless, a victim of the world. I no longer believe that anymore or feel that way. I feel like a caterpillar who is metamorphosing into a butterfly.

There are some in the mental health community who don’t seem to believe that lasting change can be had. That’s a whoooooooole other post unto itself. But for now, in the interest of brevity, I’m keeping this short just to say, I found hope. There are many things that contributed to that, and I will explore them all in more detail soon. As a preview, what are a few of those things? GOD. Personal understanding. LOVE. Love for others, and love for myself. It’s a heck of a lot to dig into but I’m going to do it. Because frankly, after all those years, I’m tired of wallowing. And I’m ready to put a positive footprint out into the world.

Take care everyone!!! And talk to you all soon. :)