The formation of our belief systems

Let’s get into the idea of beliefs, and belief systems, and how we form our beliefs.

People always think their own beliefs are correct. After all, they wouldn’t hold those beliefs if they didn’t, well, BELIEVE them, would they??? We all BELIEVE our way is right, we BELIEVE our way makes sense. We discount others who don’t agree with us as naïve, unintelligent or simply without the facts. Because after all, if they had the facts, were intelligent and wise, they would be just like us! And that would make them correct!

The funny thing is, people never stop to think that EVERY SINGLE PERSON feels the exact same way about their own beliefs. That’s why there is so much division when it comes to beliefs, especially the BIG ones (politics, religion, medicine, etc.)  Each person believes they are right and they fail to have the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and actually see where they are coming from.

For awhile, I went through a very heightened period of enlightenment where I could see every point of view of everyone simultaneously. It was glorious on the one hand, to have such complete knowledge and understanding. Yet after some time (weeks) of going on this way it began to wear on me. It was as if I were standing in the center of a fun house surrounded by mirrors. Each view was in clear sight, but all different, and all converging at one point in the middle. I started to lose footing. My mind became a little TOO open. All the possibilities of everything became aware to me. And it was then that I realized, a person’s mind CAN be too open. In fact, we have to root ourselves in some type of belief, because if we don’t, the sheer volume of permutations and possibilities will overwhelm us to the point we cannot process any information at all. Not good. Not good.

Now, not everyone has probably had such experiences as mine with the extreme “open mind” but I know I am not alone in the ability to be able to step outside myself and see someone else’s view, just in general. I think we all have that ability. I think it is a skill that can be honed. But, sadly, many people today do not have the desire nor the will to cultivate such a skill or an understanding of others. In the world of “me, me, me, meeeeeee!!!!” it is easier to just do what you want and not care about anyone else. They will still insist their way is right and that you are an idiot if you don’t agree.

That doesn’t mean we have to agree with them. We don’t. I personally believe in God. There is nothing that would make me not believe in God. I believe in him so strongly I’d be willing to lay down my life this very moment. But do I understand why some others don’t believe in him? Yes, I understand. Most of the time, I do not engage in debates with people on these type of heated topics anymore because I see it as pointless. A person cannot be argued into a way of thinking. It is something they must come to on their own. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. I acknowledge everyone’s ability and choice to decide their own beliefs.

Now, we get into the really interesting parts that people never really realize about beliefs. 

     1)    Our beliefs aren’t actually OUR beliefs.

Human beings are social creatures. Like it or not, we are influenced by things around us, people around us. We aren’t born with a set of beliefs. We acquire them over time and they are very much socially constructed. Not to say we don’t have an inherent understanding of “right” vs. “wrong” or “good” vs. “bad”. But each person’s interpretation of what is “good” and what is “bad” varies. Why? Our beliefs are shaped by so many things. Our upbringing. The relationships and friendships we have had in life. Our religion, or lack of religion. Our country, our culture, our gender. We take all these things – our knowledge, our understanding, our observations, our personal experiences – and we assimilate them into one governing belief system from which all of our opinions stem from. Most people take this for granted. They assume everyone is just like them, thinks like them. Not the case. 

  
  2)    Our beliefs are not always logical (and that can be good).

Our society places so much importance on the idea of logic and reasoning. It can be traced back a long way, but a divide arose between the idea of the logical mind and the idea of the emotional mind. People believe that logic trumps emotion. If it is logical, it must be “right”. But our emotions play just as much of a part in our belief systems as our logical brains. If a person believes in capital punishment, likely it’s because they feel the criminal deserves it. Most people don’t discuss it “rationally” in the sense of justice for justice sake. It is a visceral response, an emotional feeling toward the criminal. If a person doesn’t agree with capital punishment, it’s likely because they feel it is morally wrong, or perhaps that the system is faulty. These again are emotional judgments, not logical. 

In fact, some beliefs are completely illogical all the way around!!! But we still hold them as valid. Why? Because we feel them. And that doesn’t necessarily make them wrong. If we have no money and too many children, “logically” it would make sense to get rid of one or more and not be financially taxed. But do most people do this? No. Why? Because emotionally, we know it is wrong. 

Reason and emotion go hand in hand in a perfectly balanced individual. Granted, no one is perfect. But to sacrifice one at the expense of the other generally has bad results.

     3)     Our belief systems influence our behavior.

This is huge and something people do not give credence to much if at all. If we believe something is good for us, we might be more likely to do it. If we believe that seeing a counselor will help our mental state, we are more likely to do it regularly. If we believe that bathing in salt water will give us an extra year of life, we might be more likely to do it. If we believe that our neighbor is untrustworthy, we might go to great lengths to avoid him. If we believe all dogs carry fleas, we might not ever pet a dog. See where I’m going with this? What we believe (or don’t believe) directly influences what we do (or don’t do.)

     4)   We can consciously CHANGE our belief systems.

Belief systems are notoriously resistant to change. I think this is because a lot of complex psychological processes are occurring that many times are unknown to us in a conscious state (far too much to get into here.) The old adage seems to ring true for many “A leopard never changes its spots.” I certainly used to believe this.  I thought I was doomed for life. I thought other people were all bad too so why waste time on them??? I carried on that way most of my life, until I had some pretty profound epiphanies, which I’m sharing with you now.

Change IS possible. But it involves many things. Acknowledgement, acceptance, movement (toward the change). A person cannot sit unmoving and expect that things will suddenly be different. Even if someone seemingly wins the lottery out of nowhere, they still had to 1) believe they had a chance of winning 2) think about getting a ticket 3) actually go and get the ticket. Generally, money doesn’t just fall onto a person’s head from the clear blue sky.

Essentially, a conscious change occurs in a person’s mindset when the risk of staying the SAME is HIGHER than the risk of undertaking change. Change is a risk. Sometimes we are forced into change, if our spouse leaves us or if we’re diagnosed with an illness. But what we BELIEVE about that is entirely within our power.

So what is all this telling us???

If we are stuck in patterns of negative behavior, negative thinking, negative life situations, we must examine our beliefs. Truly ask yourself…WHY do I believe this? Is it because someone else told me to? Is it because it “makes sense”? Is it because I just NEED to??? Once we begin to examine our motivations for those beliefs, we can begin the process of change.