I was up and thought I would go ahead and write a little something. I've been busy allllllll day with all kind of misc things...stuff on the computer, house cleaning, organizing, budgeting, on and on and on. So I've gotten a lot accomplished but wanted to do something not on my "to-do" list for today!
Well, I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and am getting fatter and fatter. Well not totally true...only my belly is getting bigger, the rest is staying the same. But still, I am HUGE. And I mean huge. I have no idea how I am going to get any bigger than I already am. The weird thing is I have only gained about 15 lbs. yet I am positively enormous. I am so uncomfortable all the time. I feel like all I do is complain but I can't help it! I am so ready for this baby to be out of me!!! I remember when I was pregnant with my twins, and it was a horrible experience, healthwise and I always wondered, "If I got pregnant again, would I have a good pregnancy?" Well the answer is a resounding NO!!! I feel bad because this baby will probably be born and think I had it out for him, but that is not the case, I just long to be feeling normal again! I literally have almost every pregnancy symptom in the book, and really bad too. I was really energetic for awhile there and getting a lot done, now I am just tired all the time again and want to sleep 24/7. I feel kinda crabby a lot, why, I'm not sure but I find myself getting short with people or just irritated and yelling. Poop! It stinks.
I think I am pretty much prepared for the birth, I am most likely going to have a repeat c-section. I had to have one with my twins and now I have a choice but I don't think I want to risk a natural birth only to be told at the last minute there are complications and I must have surgery anyway. So I think that is what I will do. Also, I plan on having my tubes tied and so they can do it all at once and be done with it.
So now I am getting closer (but still seem so far away) I am more into making sure everything is ready. We will have to do a big cleaning/organizing before the birth and make sure everything is set up. I feel like physically I will be ready but mentally...hmmm, who knows! My moods haven't been as good lately, maybe because I don't feel as good physically or maybe other stuff, I don't know. I did have my last visit with my counselor and was very sad. They had another lady who will become my new counselor come to meet me and now I have to set up an intake appointment with her for the end of the month. I already said it but it is going to be so weird starting over with someone new. I don't want to :( My previous counselor was a great lady and got to know me so well and I am going to miss that. At our last meeting she was telling me how she was impressed with me with all the strides I have taken since beginning counseling, and getting diagnosed and that she doesn't see many people like that. She also told me her wish for me was to keep going with education and to go on and to great things because she thought I had the brains and talent to do something important. That made me feel really good. And now I am sad she is gone.
Alas that is part of life, nothing stays the same, it must change, and be in constant flux. I am looking forward to the upcoming year of 2013 and wondering what is in store for me. I will have a new baby and be starting on a new journey. My husband asked me some of my new years resolutions, I don't really have any...but maybe I could think of some "goals". To be a good mother. To be a good wife/partner. To save money. To do something worthwhile (personally).
So, now it's a new year and I hope that things go well. I hope all is well with all of you, too. Happy 2013.
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