In a BAD mood

Ugh. Where do I begin. I am feeling crappy as hell today. I am really feeling irritable and depressed. I quit smoking 6 days ago and it has been rough. The first day I was a total grouch. I've been doing better since but today I just feel like total shit. EVERYTHING is annoying me and making me mad. I just want my kids to play by themselves and leave me alone because I am so crabby. My dog is driving me up the wall. I dunno if it is a matter of I am in such a bad mood so everything is bothering me? That seems likely. I just want to go outside and literally scream for 5 minutes.

I am trying so hard not to smoke. And it is even harder because I really didn't want to quit. I admit it...I enjoy smoking. I don't care if it is bad for me. The only reason I quit is because I didn't want my kids seeing that, growing up and thinking smoking was OK and then becoming smokers themselves. So I wanted to do the responsible thing. But it really sucks. I used to go out every hour and smoke. That amounts to over 2 hours a day spent smoking. Now it is gone. I catch myself all the time preparing myself to go outside to smoke, then I have to consciously remind myself, "No, you quit smoking, you have to find something else to do." And it is tough. :(

So I guess that is mostly it, just venting. I don't have the desire or motivation to do anything I just want to sit and wallow and be grouchy by myself.

In other news, last night I applied for a part-time job. I haven't worked in about 5 years, so this is a big deal for me. We will see if I get a call, and what happens.