Winter solstice, shortest day of the year

It's been awhile since I've posted. Been caught up in the routine of day to day life I suppose. Today is the winter solstice - the shortest day of the year. I'm glad. Now the days will start growing longer and lighter again. I really need the light. Darkness isn't conducive to a happy mood.

I actually have been doing pretty well the last couple of weeks. Time is going quickly. I am taking Zyprexa now, I don't remember when I started...a few weeks ago I think. It makes me tired in the mornings after I wake up for awhile, and it makes me feel a little blah, but not too bad. It seems much better than Abilify. I wish I didn't have to take meds at all, but I'm not going to go off on that little rant again. :) I'll spare you all, this time.

Music making me reminisce...

So I’m sitting here, having a few drinks and listening to music. And I just had to post a little random thought. Isn’t it strange how music can conjure emotional, visceral sensations, simply pulled from a memory? It makes me marvel at the brain even more than I already do. It makes me wonder at the actual biological processes that even cause a memory to occur, let alone its linkage to a sight, smell, or tactile feeling. It never ceases to put me in a state of awe.

I’m listening to “Can Anybody Hear Me?” by Meredith Andrews. And it puts me right back to the week I came home from the hospital…wandering the dark, rainy evening streets of my neighborhood alone night after night. It brings up so many mental pictures…so many feelings…the wetness of my jeans dragging in the puddles of spring rain…the gray cloudy sky swirling above me as I walk, causing punctured rays of light to shine on me in slivers…the feeling of understanding and ease when I sat, doing puzzles with Andrew (a fellow inpatient) and just talking…the feeling of hope for better days and recovery…all of these things swirl into one giant mélange that there are no real words to describe. I just sit now, immersed in it all, experiencing it all again as I listen closely to the tune, smiling at its comforting familiarity, and the memories that it takes me to.