Well, it's official, my husband and I are now homeowners! It's pretty exciting, this is our first home and we are really looking forward to the whole experience. I've always lived either with relatives or in rentals so I can't wait to finally move in to this house. We've been slowly setting things up, we painted the entire house because the previous owners had hideous taste in colors and we changed them to more neutral, common colors, with the exception of my daughters' rooms which are light pink and light purple. Anyways, my husband who is in the Air Guard is going off to tech school for the next few weeks so we won't actually be moving in until he returns. I'm anxious for him to return and to finally start living our life. Although we are so grateful my dad has let us live here and save money for our downpayment on our home.
Anyway, as far as my illness I am still stable, trying not to drink as much. I started smoking again sporadically and I am really hoping to quit for good once my hubby gets back. I am so disappointed in myself for smoking at all...I feel so weak and pathetic for not being able to stay off them. However my counselor was telling me how different behaviors burn new neural pathways in the brain and by repeating those behaviors we reinforce those pathways, hence, why it is so easy to relapse when you smoke or drink or do drugs. So it's sucky - I wish I had never started smoking to begin with and I wouldn't be in this boat!
I still haven't seen my therapist or psychiatrist. I had to reschedule my appointments so I still have another 2 weeks to go. I am still thinking I'm going to get off the Zyprexa and hopefully try Geodon. At least, that's my plan as of now.
